Brunch in Black Rock - Cafeteria Restaurant Review

One thing you will learn about me is that I am a big fan of BRUNCH. One of my favorite weekend activities is to creep out of bed at a "decent" hour, find a new café, and hope all the while that it is warm enough to sit outside with my pug beneath my feet. It is one time of the week that The Boyfriend and I both value immensely, so much so that on the odd occasion that I arrange to do something else at the sacrifice of our weekly ritual, I need to find some way to make it up to him lest I receive the dreaded glare of disappointment. 
This morning was one of those glorious winter mornings where the hint of spring is in the air, and dads everywhere are tentatively wheeling out their lawn mowers to try and tame their temporarily dry lawns. Delighting in the possibility that we could actually sit outside comfortably for the first time in months, off we went to Black Rock to find some seaside brunch fare.

With the idea of driving around Black Rock until spotting a decent, not too busy place, Cafeteria, a bright cafe back from the beach was spotted immediately and we got out to investigate. It was eventually chosen because the French patisserie next door was naturally heavy on the pastry and I was looking for something lighter.

We settled ourselves outside and were promptly greeted by the waiter who promised a quick return with menus. Ten minutes later we were still waiting. It was during those ten minutes of toe tapping that we started to get cold, and also realized the slight angle the table and chairs we were on meant a never ending battle to stay upright. So instead of leaving, which we should have done, we headed inside.

Again, we were promptly greeted by a waitress, who also promised a quick return with menus, and actually followed through on that promise, going above and beyond by also bringing a carafe of water and some glasses. Encouraged, I wondered if maybe it was the first waiter who was the problem and not the café itself. I spotted our original waiter at a table flirting with a group of five raucous young ladies, a place where he seemed content to hover until they left half an hour later. I ordered my standard latté and The Boyfriend ordered a caramel milkshake.

My watery latté.

While waiting I took a moment to examine my surroundings. The bright little cafe was simply decorated with tones of olive green and yellow, with a relaxed, chatty atmosphere. The table of young ladies and their screeching laughter would not be appreciated if I was hungover but since I'm not and it's such a lovely day I decide to merely observe them and the way they skillfully monopolized the waiters attention despite other customers waiving desperately at him for service.

The menu itself is quite diverse, but with the breakfast menu ending at 12.00pm it doesn't cater to the "late brunch" crowd. That being said there is a good selection on the All Day menu available, and I'm torn between the home made spiced pumpkin & cranberry bread with hazelnut marscopone, or the hot chicken meatballs with mushroom & basil on olive oil bread. In the end I get menu envy after spotting a neighbour's dish, and copy them by ordering the Ricotta hot cakes with a berry compote and honey cinnamon yogurt, accompanied by a banana smoothie. The Boyfriend goes outside the square and orders Eggs Benedict and a side order of fries. Apparently he is hungry!


So all around me are various dishes all looking quite delicious. The omelette with chorizo, capsicum and potato has my mouth watering, and the pork belly with asian salad - oh my god. The place is only about half full, and the bar staff work with a good rhythm, but it seems one waitress is run off her feet, while the other (who I shall refer to as The Flirter) is continuing to hover around his table of choice. He has really mastered the art of paying attention to these girls, so much so he actually managed to serve our milkshake without even facing his body towards our table! He kind of shuffled backwards, lent back and placed the glass blindly on our table (almost knocking over the carafe), all while holding a conversation with the girls (who were all completely out of his league).

So while we were entertained by The Flirter, other customers clearly weren't and I saw some toe tapping and eye rolling around me. But back to the food and drinks. 


My latté? Watery. 


Now I am no barista, I mean, I manned a cappuccino machine in Karingal Hub Food Court for five years during my high school years, but I don't think that counts. That being said, I know enough to be aware that lattés - not meant to be watery.

I drank it though, because like I said yesterday, coffee outside the city can be hit and miss, but looked forward to my banana smoothie.

At this price those bananas
had better be self peeling!

Now some of you might be aware that Australia is suffering through The Great Banana Crisis. Mind you I'm the only one actually calling it The Great Banana Crisis, mainly because I love them so much. A fresh banana smoothie in the mornings... oh so yum. Since the catastrophic flooding in Queensland however, our banana supplies have become scarce and the price has skyrocketed. Many places have taken banana-based dishes off their menu altogether, or are charging an exorbitant price for them. And what is an exorbitant price for a banana? Try $13 a kilo. Seriously. Before this they were maybe $2.00 a kilo, so now bananas are out of reach for the average joe unless you have a serious need for potassium and are prepared to sacrifice other essentials, like toilet paper and petrol.

So when I see my banana smoothie delivered I almost dive into it I am THAT excited (I don't get out much). I take a big mouthful and then enter into a galactic battle not to spit it back out. It is sour. Ever had an unripe banana? It is bitter and twisted, and so is my smoothie. Seems they've decided that using unripe bananas is acceptable in the current banana-climate. It isn't. I end up dumping a heap of sugar into it and stirring for five minutes just to make the damn thing drinkable. Should I have complained? Probably, but I didn't want to distract The Flirter from trying to pick up those teenagers.

So back to the food, my ricotta hotcakes, which The Flirter deigned to deliver, are fluffy and cooked to perfection. The savory element on the dish, they are complimented by the sourness of the lemon and the sweetness of the fruit. The yogurt, surprisingly, is quite bland, I can't taste the honey and the cinnamon is lacking in punch, I end up leaving most of it on the plate. 

The Boyfriend's Eggs Benedict looked fantastic and I wanted to help him out with them, but he had a grumble because one of the eggs was over cooked (he is a big believer that the runnier the better) but he at least finished the meal. The two of us also agreed to disagree on the pesto aioli that came with his side of chips. I loved it, he wanted tomato sauce (or ketchup for those foreigners out there).

So my verdict on this café? Coffee could be better, the waiter needs to lower his standards and stop trying to bat above his average, and they should stop serving unripe bananas in their food. The meals themselves were pretty good, and there were some other things on the menu I wish I could have ordered as well. 

The big question though: will we be going back? 

No. 

Would I tell you not to go there though? I'll let you make your own mind up on that one.

2.5 stars.